Special Delivery
by SuperGroverAway
Summary: Out in the middle of a dirt road in backwoods Oregon, Wendy receives something of an unexpected surprise.


The teenager was at least a half-hour late to her shift at the Mystery Shack. Regardless, Wendy casually cruised in lazy zigzags down the center of the dirt road on her bicycle, as if she had all the time in the world. Tuesdays tended to be extremely slow, so the less time she spent idly manning the register of a near-empty gift shop, than the better.

The Mystery Shack popped into view up ahead, just as a large shadow briefly swooped over her. Wendy couldn't help but slow down to a bewildered halt. That was a little odd. When she had left home, there wasn't so much as a single cloud in the sky, or even the smallest wisps of white. The bewildered girl looked up, and beyond the treetops she saw nothing more than the outline of a hawk gliding about overhead in a sea of clear, blemish-less blue. She idled for a moment, puzzling.

It was only when what she thought was a regular hawk flew by and cast a car-sized shadow over her again did the barely believable truth hit her like a log to the gut. Whatever that was, it was no normal bird. In a flash, raw panic was coursing through her lanky body with the force of a raging flood. Wendy let out a hoarse gasp before she mounted her bike again and took off.

The teen pedaled furiously in her mad race to comparative safety. High up above, a deafening screech rent the air as the flying behemoth did a few more circles, then speedily rocketed down to earth with a purpose. It landed several yards up ahead on enormous clawed feet, shaking the earth around it so hard that she didn't even need to use her breaks. The force of impact and the veritable mini-earthquake tossed her clean from her bike. Wendy tumbled off and landed hard. Spitting dirt, she raised her head and was instantly paralyzed by the awesome sight standing before her.

It was like nothing that she had ever seen. From the tip of its beak to the end of its long, curling tail, the monster bird was the length of a tractor trailer. Brilliant red and blue feathers covered every inch of its hefty frame, save its wicked several foot-long beak and talon-lined feet, both of which were as black as pure onyx. Its enormous eyes cast a hard, unblinking stare that nearly pierced the girl straight to her very soul.

Self-preservation suddenly kicked in, and Wendy attempted to scramble to her feet and make a bold run for the cover of the surrounding forest. However, she had barely leapt up when the giant bird spread its massive sail-sized wings, tossed back its head and let out another piercing cry. Instantly it felt like her eardrums were going to rupture under the deafening volume. Quaking in agony, she clamped her hands tightly over the sides of her head and crumbled down to her knees.

Once it was sure that she was going nowhere for now, the humongous bird took a few steps forward, and opened its mouth as wide as it could. Still kneeling in a disoriented heap, Wendy could only watch and wait with fast skyrocketing dread as it approached. To say the least, this was not at all how she expected to go out.

Things thus took a powerfully surprising turn when it drew back a little and started to gag loudly in what was anything but a majestic fashion. Wendy's fear rapidly turned to utter confusion. The utterly baffling spectacle reminded the girl of a cat struggling to cough up a hair ball. She watched openmouthed while it swept its head back and forth, forcefully and violently retching with all its might.

From where it was trying to expel the object from, she of course hadn't the slight clue. After all, monster anatomy was not her strong point. Finally though, with one last mighty hack it sent a soggy lump hurtling out of its throat with the force of a cannonball. After the mess hit the ground with a wet squelch, the giant recomposed itself, lowered its head and pushed the motionless shape towards the thunderstruck teen with a surprising gentleness.

Wendy's second major shock came a moment later when she gazed over the pitiful heap, and genuine recognition hit her with the force of lightning bolt. She'd recognized that face anywhere. The lanky teen bolted over with a strangled cry. "DIPPER!"

The boy in question was an incredibly sorry sight as he lay there motionlessly in the dirt, completely drenched in bird saliva from head to toe. Thankfully, no sooner had she crouched down by his side when he stirred with a moan. Dipper's eyes fluttered open, and as the dazed preteen took stock of his surroundings, Wendy heaved in relief and began to prop him up into a sitting position. He jolted hard with massive start once he laid eyes on his secret crush, but his shock lasted for only a second. He looked over his revolting appearance, then over to the bird, back to Wendy, and unhappily accepted this twist of fate with a resigned sigh.

"...Uh...hi?" Dipper slapped on a weak excuse for a smile. By this point, Wendy felt like her head was spinning.

"What the...Dipper, how..." Stammered bits of nonsense tumbled freely off her lips until they were interrupted by a muffled squeak.

"Hey, Wendy! Wendy! Wendy, hi! In here!" A clump of the gigantic bird's chest feathers ruffled. Suddenly a sweater-sleeved arm popped out, followed by another extremely familiar face. Mabel pulled herself loose, and cheerily chattered up a storm all the while. "Don't worry! It's just us, Dipper and Mabel! See? Can you see? It's me! Right over here! I'm looking at you from the big bird-thing right now!"

With one final burst of effort she wrenched her body free, and tumbled straight to the ground. Mabel coughed up some dirt, hastily wiped herself down, and without another moment's delay she bounded on over to her friend and brother. The girl still wore her iconic shining brace-filled grin as if absolutely none of this could have possibly been more normal. She skipped to a halt and waved furiously. "Hiya!"

Mabel then looked to her brother, and immediately her grin flipped into a repulsed frown. "Oh..._ewwwww_...Dipper, gross!"

"Oh yeah, like I really asked for this." Her brother groaned sarcastically with a heavy roll of his eyes.

Its work apparently finished, the bird gave what Wendy could have sworn was a polite nod. The creature then tossed back its head with a mighty cry, beat its powerful wings and took off into the air, heading back to whatever high and mysterious roost it called home. In a matter of seconds it had turned back into a mere blot in the sky. As it gracefully soared from sight Mabel waved her arms and politely yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Bye-bye, friend! Thanks for the ride! Thank yoooooou!"

"Okay..." Wendy rubbed her temples and struggled to register what on earth she had just witnessed. Unfortunately the questions were piling up too fast in her brain to handle, and when all attempts to process everything flat-out failed, the boggled teen sat hard in the dirt. She shot her friends a blank stare that silently begged them for answers.

A glob of spit dripped off the brim of his trademark blue and white cap as Dipper started things off with a shrug. "Okay...so you're not gonna believe the day that we've been having so far..."


End file.
